kenlassblog

Before there was e-mail, before text messaging, before Face Time or Facebook or Face Masks or whatever, if you wanted to catch up with family and friends at this time of year, you would do so via Christmas cards. You’d go to that hard-to- reach drawer or shelf in your closet where you put things you knew you would only use once a year, and pull down that red box containing cards and envelopes……and……The List.

Yes. The List. It might be an address book. Might be a legal pad. Maybe just a ripped out sheet from a notebook. No matter how hard you tried to keep it organized, it was a mess of crossed out names and addresses, with updated names and addresses scribbled into the margins. It might well have coffee stains and sticky spots from where food and drink was spilled on it during long hours of writing and updating.

It was a pain keeping it current, and, of course, making those critical decisions about who stays on it and who goes. Did they send me a card last year? Exactly how many years should I send them a card without getting one in return before I take them off? What if I take them off, and they send me a late card after Christmas? Do I send one back? Wouldn’t that tip them off that I took them off my list?

Regardless, it was worth the stress, because sending them out usually meant you got several back in return. Each one would have a little hand-written summary of how things were with them and their family, maybe even a photo or two. It was your life line for staying connected. I looked forward to the mail arriving every day in December, anxiously anticipating another stack of news flashes from loved ones I seldom got to see.

Over time, much has changed. It seems fewer folks every year are motivated to put in the time to work through their list and write out the cards. So much easier, I guess, to bang out a group e-mail. I get it. Life is busy. Time is short. Still, I can’t help feeling something has been lost.

Those few minutes it took to write something personal to us in the card meant that, if only for a moment, that person thought about us and thought enough of us to want to share their own highlights, if only briefly.

Sharon and I still get several cards, and I’m still excited to open them and see who they’re from. Very few have any kind of personal message hand written in them. This makes me sad because I really want to know more about what’s going on with them. But I’m thankful nonetheless to still be on their list, and I console myself by keeping in mind that maybe they did have to think about us for a moment as they addressed the card.

At this point, I must engage in full disclosure. I have easy talking. Sharon takes on the task of writing out and sending our cards. Sometimes we consult together about…..The List…..but she does all the work. I just reap the benefits of reading the cards that come in. So I don’t mean for this blog to come off as being critical. As I said, I get it. I appreciate the time it takes to commit to the task.

I just hope it’s a tradition that does not fade away, as so many do because technology allows it.

So election day is finally here. I’m not sure why, but elections, particularly presidential elections, seem to bring out the worst in us. I don’t remember this being true when I was growing up. I remember Republicans and Democrats. We don’t have that anymore. Now we have friends and enemies.

The side that I like represents everything that is good and true and wholesome and American. The side that you like represents consummate evil, falsehood and betrayal. Can we just sit down and debate the issues? No, because everything you say is a lie and a direct threat to my family, my health, and the future of our great country, so I must shout you down so that you cannot be heard.

Of course, the candidates feed off of this. They know full well that most of us don’t have the time and/or the ambition to delve into the issues in a comprehensive way. They know full well that the great majority of Americans will cast their vote based on broad perceptions. Perceptions that may, or may not, be accurate, but which the candidates will try to promulgate nonetheless.

How else to explain the brutally personal TV ads which accuse candidates of everything from being senile to not caring if Americans die of coronavirus? The allegations are then denied in a reply ad, and then reiterated in the next one.

You see, it doesn’t really matter if the accusations are true. Only that they help to reinforce your broad perception of the candidate as being incompetent, uncaring and misguided, if not downright evil.

I am naïve enough to think there was a time when we could at least rely on the national news media to walk down the center of the road, to objectively interpret the noise and sift through the lies and half-truths. Where have you gone Walter Cronkite? Huntley and Brinkley? Sam Donaldson? Alas, today it seems clear most national outlets have chosen a side. The tilting of their coverage toward the political philosophy of their chosen side of the aisle has never been more obvious. Their newscasts are now more a pep rally than an analysis.

So into this morass we cast our vote. We hold our collective noses and pray we make the correct choice for our country. Deep down inside we all want the same thing. We want what’s best for America. Come Wednesday morning when the ballots are counted and the electoral votes are awarded, we will have our president for the next four years. Then could we all be friends again?

No matter who wins, it won’t be the end of our country as we know it. Our founding fathers were incredibly wise and constructed our government with so many checks and balances that good old democracy is not going away any time soon. The country will go on…..at least until the next election, when once again the destruction of our great nation will be at hand. (sigh)

The other day my son asked me an interesting question. He wanted to know if there was this much division and demonstration and open conflict between races back in the days of Martin Luther King Jr. My son was born in 1984 so the MLK days were well before his time.

I thought for a bit, and I told him I did remember a lot of protest and demonstrations in the 1960’s, but most of it was directed at our involvement in the Vietnam war. I do recall some racial violence and tension, but I told him I did not think it was as intense and “in your face” as it seems to be today.

He asked me what I thought the difference was. I thought for another moment. I’m pretty convinced the difference is social media. Back in the 60’s there was no vehicle for the emotional back and forth dialogue that exists today. We saw news reports on TV and read them in newspapers, and if you wanted to be heard you had to take the time to write a letter to the editor and hope it would be published.

Now you can sit in your living room with your phone or your lap top and instantly react to comments and posts you like or don’t like. The result is the equivalent of people vehemently arguing with each other, with emotions rising as the words get more intense. Except you don’t have to risk physical intimidation by doing this in person. You can say anything to anybody and still remain safely isolated in your recliner.

I know many people who are sweet and amiable in person but who then get on social media platforms and express blunt and inflammatory opinions they would never verbalize face to face. My Dad used to tell me “just because you think something, doesn’t mean you should say it.” Yet social media allows us to do just that. To pour out our festering fears and emotions with no concern of personal intimidation.

It has brought us to a kind of verbal civil war. Our side against their side, whatever your definition of sides are….black against white, liberal against conservative, Christian against secular, young against old. The problem is everybody has a side these days and social media is the battleground.

Problem is, there can be no winner in this kind of war. The casualties include our sense of love, trust and security.

It doesn’t have to be this way. The platforms we use to fight can also be used to understand and heal. Let’s try that. Imagine the possibilities if everyone would post something constructive and non-hostile.

If Martin Luther King were still here, he would click the “like” button on that.

I have two Facebook accounts. Well, anyway I used to have two. One is my “fan” page which I was required to set up by my employers when I worked in local TV news. The other is my personal account. While anyone is welcome on my fan page, I only friend people I know on the personal version.

If you got access to this particular blog post from a Facebook link, then you must have “liked” my fan page, for which I am very grateful. The reason I know this is because weeks ago I tried to access my personal Facebook only to receive a message that it had been disabled. I received a message saying this happened because FB has reason to believe that someone other than me was using the account. In order to have my account reinstated, the message went on to say, I have to “apply” for it by proving that it is really me trying to get in.

No problem, I figured. I’ll just call the customer service phone number and talk to a helpful tech person and we’ll straighten this all out………except that there is no customer service number. In fact, there is no direct way to contact Facebook whatsoever. You are directed to a “help center” where you can “send them a message”.

In order to get reinstated, I had to send them a recent photograph of myself. Whereupon I was informed that I then had to send them a photo of a valid picture ID, such as a driver license, to prove its me on the first photo.

I was convinced this was a scam from some hacker and I did some internet research on it. Turns out it was completely legit. FB does indeed require all these hoops just to “apply” for reinstatement. Then, having sent them the picture ID photo, I was tersely informed that it may take longer than usual to review my application because of the Covid 19 effect on their personnel.

That was about a month ago. I’ve never heard back. I still have no access to my personal account. Apparently Facebook will get around to it when they feel like it, if ever.

I couldn’t help but wonder how any business can get away with treating customers like this. But I have since come to some moments of clarity.

First of all, I now understand that I am not a customer. I paid no money for FB. The customers are the advertisers and the services that buy the email addresses of all the accounts. Secondly, the most recent public tally puts the world wide number of FB users at 2.6 billion……..2.6 BILLION!

Just think. You could have one billion unhappy users, and still have 1.6 billion more! With that kind of user base, Facebook doesn’t have to provide a customer service phone number. They don’t have to be in a hurry to help you get back on. They don’t have to care about you, period. And evidently, they don’t.

Turns out, there is life without them. The first several days I found myself trying to get back on just out of habit. but after about a week I have pretty much forgotten about them. If they never get around to reinstating me, I’ll be okay with that.

It does occur to me that if I was hacked and my account hijacked, the same could well happen to my fan page. I truly do appreciate you for reading my blog posts. If you get any enjoyment out of them, the best way to ensure you get them is to subscribe. That way you’ll get them in your email. In case you’re wondering, I don’t make any money off of these. I am not even remotely close to having enough subscribers to interest advertisers, and I’m totally okay with that. This is just a hobby and self therapy for me. Occasionally someone will comment that something I wrote made them laugh and brightened their day a bit and that is wonderful reward for me.

I will admit that Facebook has been good for me. It has enabled me to reconnect with several childhood friends and former co-workers with whom I had completely lost touch, in addition to keeping up with the day by day adventures of all my community friends. But if the FB gods never get around to plugging me back in, I’ll use the fan page and Twitter (@KenLass3) as much as I can.

Either way just know that your reading of my musings is a blessing to me and makes my day.

Being in self quarantine means spending a lot of time with……well….yourself. Inevitably this will lead to at least some self analysis. Over the years those who know me best have suggested that I have an obsession with avoiding waste. I have to disagree. I think my behavior is perfectly normal.

For example, if there is a light on in a room with nobody in it, I am compelled to get up and turn it off. Wouldn’t anybody? If there is a TV on with nobody watching it, I simply must shut it down. My young grandkids have Ipads on which they watch cartoons and play games. Often they will set the Ipad down still playing and wander off to do something else. I just can’t sit there and watch the batteries run down with nobody watching it. I have to pick the thing up and turn it off. Nothing obsessive about that. In fact, I’ll bet you’re right there with me. Take this waste obsession survey:

Does running water drive you crazy? If someone in your house is taking a shower, do you find yourself timing it? Do you wash dishes in the sink because you can’t bring yourself to use the water it takes to run the dish washer? Or better yet, do you just stick to paper plates and plastic silverware?

When temperatures drop below freezing, do you let your faucets drip overnight to avoid the pipes icing up? Are you then unable to sleep all night because of all that dripping water going to waste? When brushing your teeth, do you squeeze every molecule of toothpaste out of the tube before disposing of it? Do you use toothbrushes and razor blades until they disintegrate before moving on to new ones? Do you save unused paint for years and yet remain shocked when you pry open the can and find it has morphed into something resembling asphalt? Do you keep that comfortable old pair of slippers until there are so many holes in it they function more like sandals? When the kids pick at their food and leave most of their french fries on the plate, do you feel somebody has to eat them up? And by somebody do you mean you?.

When you do decide to cut loose and overspend on some sort of guilty pleasure, can you do so without feeling you have to cut back on something else? For instance, if you want to go out and eat at an expensive restaurant, do you think “Fine, but no fast food for breakfast or lunch this week?” Are you collecting a pile of pennies in your car but can’t bring yourself to spend them on anything? Do you keep scooping from a jar of jelly until you can see your reflection in the bottom?

If you answered yes to these questions, you are just like me. Personally, I think we are just being smart and economically responsible. So just ignore those who think we have become obsessive.

Okay, I have to end this now. I just noticed the dogs haven’t eaten all of the food in their dish. I need to pour it back in the bag. I’ll see you at the therapist office.

The internet has been the driving force in American culture for about 30 years now. It’s the best thing that ever happened to us. It’s also the worst thing that’s ever happened to us.

There are so many benefits to having instant information at our fingertips. You hungry? Type your order in the app, the food will be ready when you get there. No waiting. Heck, they’ll even deliver it to you. Miss your favorite TV show? You don’t have to wait for the rerun. It’s there on demand any time. Need to renew your driver license? Do it on the website. No waiting in line at the DMV. Nope, you don’t have to wait for just about anything anymore.

And therein lies the problem, the source of so much frustration for all of us when it comes to dealing with the threat of the Covid 19 virus. We have run into something we can’t fix by pulling out our phones and clicking on the app. We are told to stay in our homes. We are told to keep our social distance from each other. But most painfully of all, we are told to wait. And we can’t stand it. Patience, the ability to wait, has been bred out of us. We simply don’t know how to do it anymore.

What? The virus may not peak and run its course until June or July? We might have to keep this self quarantine stuff up for another 4 to 5 months? We can’t comprehend that. Even President Trump can’t wait. He is publicly setting Easter Sunday as a target to begin reopening the country. Yet every time he mentions that prospect, you can see the health officials behind him wince a bit. I picture a thought bubble above their heads saying “please don’t say that….not gonna happen.” The frenzy in our grocery stores is evidence that we just can’t wait for the supply to catch up to the demand. We have to hoard. Let the next guy fend for himself.

We’re going to have to relearn this virtue the hard way. The virus isn’t going anywhere. There is no vaccination and won’t be for awhile. The economy will likely continue to decline in the short term. People will continue to lose their jobs in the immediate future. But there is a corner to be turned, and we will turn it. We just have to wait for it.

So take a very……….deep……….breath…………now exhale slowly…………..let yourself relax. Realize this: You are healthy. You have people you love and who love you. God’s beautiful world still unfolds around you. There will be many tomorrows to pursue your hopes and dreams. Everything that can be done is being done by the brightest medical minds on our planet. You have no control over that. So don’t worry about it.

We won’t win this battle with fear, lack of cooperation, panic and anxiety. We will win it by waiting it out. Patience is our best weapon. Find it deep down in your arsenal. It may save your life.

In my 69 years on this earth, I have never seen anything quite like this….a virtual shutdown of American social activity. We’re going to struggle with this. Human beings are social by nature. To be told to avoid public gatherings is almost impossible for us to truly comprehend.

We could grasp the cancellation of major events. That was a no brainer. But we are only now beginning to feel the real impact on our individual lives. No playgrounds? Movie theaters? Restaurants? Churches? What about weddings? Don’t visit hospitals? Basically stay on your own property.

And it gets more intimate than that. We’re told to give everyone “social distancing.” We’re even told not to touch our own face. Some say it’s all hype. Others claim it’s worse than we think. Whom to believe? Social media is at the same time a blessing and a curse. It is now our most effective means of communication, while also serving as a launching pad for rumor and skeptic misinformation.

It doesn’t help that we can’t really grasp what this thing is, or how long we must deal with it. It’s like the flu, it’s not like the flu. You may only get a little sick, you may die. You may just be a carrier. Because most postponements have been in the neighborhood of two or three weeks, we want to believe we can just wait this thing out for a little while, like waiting for a tornado watch to expire. Yet health officials are using words like July and August.

As a boy I remember the collective worry that swept over the country during the Cuban missile crisis and the assassination of President Kennedy. As an adult I recall the angst of gas rationing in the 70’s, the twin towers in 2001 and the recession of 2008. Disturbing all, but nobody told us then we couldn’t go to school or that we have to stay six feet away from every other human. Small wonder some are scared.

I am not among them. Smart, talented people are putting plans in place. Eventually the precautions will catch up to and surpass the threat. In the mean time history shows we are nothing if not adaptable. We will adjust to picking up our restaurant food outside the building, to watching church on the internet, to washing our hands 20 times a day. We will still keep in touch with our friends, rediscover our families within our homes, perhaps turn more earnestly to our Creator for assurance. Life is not worse. It’s just different. Really different.

In the end it will pull us all closer together, even as we must stay further apart.

My son is 36 years old. My daughter is 34. Neither one of them can remember a world without the internet. I confess I’m having a little trouble remembering it myself. Was there really a time when you could drive your car without a phone ringing in your pocket or purse? When you couldn’t order your food until you actually got to the restaurant?

A time when you were watching an old TV show and wondered whether one of the actors was still alive but had no way of finding out? A time when you weren’t sure when the football game started or what channel it was on so you had to check the sports section of the newspaper? A time when you actually HAD a newspaper? A time when you had to go out of your house and speak to your neighbors and friends to learn all the latest gossip? When you had to slip into the dressing room at the clothing store and try on that new pair of pants before buying?

A time when you used a dictionary to look up the meaning of a word? When you had to call the local movie theater and listen to a recording of all the showtimes? When you had to watch the local TV channels to get the latest news and weather? When you looked at your watch to know what time it is? When you had to use alarm clocks and stopwatches? When you turned on the radio to listen to your favorite music? When you had to sit down and write a letter to someone and put it in the mailbox and wait days for it to be delivered? When you needed a camera to take a picture, and then had to wait for the film to be developed?

A time when you had to look for a phone booth to make a call if you were away from home? When you had to depend on night clubs or churches or your workplace to find someone you might be interested in dating? When there was no such thing as “on demand” and you had to wait to watch your favorite show until the TV network aired it in its weekly time slot? When you had to be at your home to open your garage door, or turn on your lights, or adjust your thermostat? When you had no generic computer voice to whom you could address a question? When you boarded your dog and you couldn’t watch it all day on a live camera? When you needed a typewriter to type an essay like this?

A time when you had to go to a store to shop? When you needed textbooks to go to school? When you didn’t have to worry that information on how to make a bomb was available with the click of a button? When there was no such thing as “sexting”? When you had to keep a paper log to know how much money was in your checking account? When you actually had to laugh out loud instead of writing LOL? When there was no such word as “selfie”? When we didn’t spend hours of our lives waiting for computers to boot up? When we thought the only definitive source of information was something called an encyclopedia?

Did such a world really exist? And if so, how did we all survive it?