TV That Watches You

I love old, corny sci-fi movies. One of my favorites is a 1970 film titled “Colossus: The Forbin Project”. Scientist Forbin has developed a giant computer system named Colossus that is so smart, the United States government decides to trust it with control of its nuclear defense system. But the plan backfires when Colossus learns of a similar system in Russia, and unites with it to take over the world. The human race must obey its commands or the unified machines will wipe out humanity by launching its nuclear missiles. The computers keep folks under control by ordering the installation of monitors which watch and keep track of every move every person makes.

In real life, we’re not quite there yet, but I couldn’t help recalling that old movie as I was watching TV in my den the other night. We were in the middle of another rerun of Everybody Loves Raymond. It’s one of our favorite TV shows ever. We’ve seen every episode countless times but we keep coming back to them, mainly because the great majority of new programming is not targeted to us and therefore of no interest. When the show went to a commercial break, a small link appeared in the upper left hand corner of the screen. It read “Ad Info”.

I’d seen it many times before and just ignored it, figuring it was just a strategy to sell me something. For some reason, on this night, my curiosity got the better of me, and I decided to click on it. The most interesting text then appeared on the screen. It was an explanation of why this particular commercial was on my TV. It seems Google, the company that runs my streaming service, has been watching me as I watch my TV. It’s also been tracking everything I’ve ever googled, which is a lot. I google any number of things every day.

The message informed me that this ad was “personalized” for me based on my interests, my searches, my activity while signed in, and my “general location or the general locations where you have been”. Apparently, I was to regard this as a good thing, because the post said it made commercials “more useful to me”. I confess, however, that it gave me a bit of a chill. Not only did I not want my TV to decide which commercials I should watch, but I found it a little unsettling that Google had some sort of portfolio of my interests and locations.

Of course I was aware, on some subconscious level, that this was nothing new. Internet providers have been tracking everything we do on our laptops and desktops and phones for decades. It’s the source of all those annoying pop-up ads we encounter as we surf for important information, such as whether Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez have really gotten back together. Some sites just go right ahead and tell you up front they are watching you. They tell you they use “cookies”, which are basically recordings of what you are doing. Sadly, in this day and age, you have to expect it from your laptop or phone. You go on the internet, you take your chances.

But my TV? Somehow that struck me as being a little more personal and invasive. Besides, Google might get the wrong idea. My program choices can be pretty random. Sometimes I want to watch an educational documentary on PBS about World War Two. Other times I might want to watch the Three Stooges hitting each other in the face with a pie. What if my grandkids are here watching Mickey Mouse Playhouse, or Blues Clues? Can Google figure out it’s not me? Or am I doomed to seeing commercials for Barbie’s dollhouse every day?

I suppose it’s all part of the gradual surrender of American culture to this nebulous thing we call the internet. Maybe the Forbin Project movie was just ahead of its time. What if Google eventually decides to punish me if I don’t watch the shows they favor? They could do something drastic, like force me to watch lawyer commercials. I think I might actually prefer nuclear destruction over that.

Deep in my heart of hearts, I know the ultimate answer is obvious. We should try going back in time, before we even knew what an internet was. Turn the TV off. Close the lid on the laptop. Put your phone on silent. Read a book. Work a crossword puzzle. Write someone a thoughtful greeting card. Volunteer for something. Play with your kids or grandkids. Mow the lawn. Paint your guest room. Take a walk.

Or just buy an antenna.