kenlassblog

I so admire people who have the gift of patience. Sharon and I pulled up to the menu board of a fast food restaurant recently. I ordered, and then we drove around to wait in line for the window. The line was slow. Actually, it wasn’t moving at all. We just sat there, with three cars ahead of us, nobody getting food.

I lasted about three minutes. Then I began drumming my fingers on the steering wheel, shifting in my seat, letting out deep sighs of frustration. By the time five minutes had passed, I was like a caged animal, grousing and complaining about incompetence and poor management. We weren’t even really in a hurry. it just seemed like minutes of my life being wasted.

Meanwhile, Sharon had pulled out her phone and was calmly browsing the internet, perfectly content and unstressed. Waiting is no problem. How do you do that? I really want to learn how to become more patient like her. And I want to learn it right now.

Did you ever notice whenever there is a group of folks having a conversation, there is always that quiet person? That individual who focuses on listening rather than talking. The one who places more value on what others have to say, and less on expressing himself.

This person is never me. When I’m in a conversation, I’m always quick to insert my feelings and opinions. Sometimes, I realize I’m not even listening to what the rest are saying. I’m just waiting for an opening in the dialog to jump in and share my thoughts. Kind of makes me wonder if the others are listening to me. Well, I guess at least one person is. The quiet person.

There’s an old saying that God gave us two ears for listening and just one mouth for talking, because listening is twice as important. That’s probably true. And I just can’t wait to talk to somebody about it.

Every morning Sharon fills our two backyard birdfeeders with fresh seed. Minutes later, there is a frenzy of birds flocking to the feeders, pushing and shoving each other, trying desperately to eat enough to satisfy their bellies. It’s every bird for himself (or herself). Life is about their needs. If others get knocked off and don’t get to eat, it’s their problem.

But occasionally we will spot a bird who will secure a beak full of seed, then fly to our backyard oak tree, landing in a nest, and then distributing the seed to others, probably their offspring. Their priority is not themselves. They fight the feeder battle to secure nourishment for others. They understand their purpose is to care for those who can’t care for themselves. They get it.

Do we?

“Have a blessed day.” I hear that phrase a lot, usually from employees at fast food windows, or grocery store checkers, or customer service reps. They say it as a matter of protocol and routine. But will you have a blessed day today?

Actually, you already have been blessed. You woke up this morning and got to spend another day in this beautiful world. That shouldn’t be taken for granted. Now take it to the next level. Want to really have a blessed day? Be a blessing to someone else. You’ll be amazed at how it will make a difference in the way you look at your own life.

Joy is contagious. Contaminate somebody today. It’s the surest way to make every day blessed.

Hope and trust are two different things, yet they go together, or at least they should. I hope that making godly decisions in my life will lead to protection, security and blessing. But trust is the next step. It is confidence that you are loved, cared about, and that circumstances, no matter how adverse, are working toward your eternal happiness.

It’s pretty hard to have hope if you don’t have trust. It also matters where you place those two things. Hoping and trusting in the things of the world is risky business. It may or may not work out. Placing your faith in God has proven over thousands of years to be much more reliable. That’s a pretty good track record.

My hope today is that you will find Him in your life, and I trust that He will reward the effort.

Self pity is a trap we are all tempted to fall into. Woe is us. Why me? Nobody understands what I’m going through. Maybe we use these mindsets to somehow console ourselves when adversity strikes. But they usually don’t work. In fact, they often make us feel worse. Trying to focus on the positive, and counting your blessings, almost always works better.

I met a woman recently who lost her sight ten years ago. Then she lost her taste and smell during the Covid pandemic. They have not returned. She is also experiencing numbness in her hands and arms. So basically, of the five senses, only her hearing is still fully intact. Yet she lives a full and active life. She cooks, sews, reads, attends church regularly, and even gives lectures on overcoming hardships. Her challenges make mine seem very small.

The old saying goes, “somebody always has it worse than you do”. It’s true, you know. Don’t give up. Fight off your adversity. Be determined to be full of joy. Others have overcome worse than your problems. You can do this. And you will.

I have reached that stage of life where I sadly find myself reading a lot of obituaries. So many friends and acquaintances passing on. It occurred to me that an obit never mentions that the deceased had a big, fancy house, or an expensive car, or a fat bank account. Instead the focus is on the family, the loved ones who preceded or survived. The obit may mention hobbies and memorable experiences, again shared with family and close friends. It almost always contains the phrase “…she (he) enjoyed spending time with (fill in the blank)”.

We should learn something from this while we are still here. All those material possessions we worked so hard to achieve and acquire, nobody will care about them when we’re gone. We will be remembered for the people we loved and who loved us back.

One day, someone will write your obituary. You can write it yourself by the way you spend your time and resources today.

Today, make it a point to say one of the following things to someone in your life:

“You look great today”.

“I may not say it enough, but I appreciate all that you do.”

“I am thankful for every day I get to see you.”

“You make my life a happier place.”

“I love you.”

I guarantee you will light somebody up. And that light will shine back on you immediately.

They are just five words. But they may be the most powerful words in the English language. Those five little words will change anger to joy. They will change confrontation to conciliation. They will inject new life into relationships that have gone dead. Yet they seem to be incredibly difficult for most of us to say.

The words are “I’m sorry. I was wrong.” I suppose the reason they are so hard to say is because we don’t believe we are wrong. Maybe we feel that giving in is a sign of weakness, vulnerability. What we need to understand is that relationships are not, or at least shouldn’t be, a competition. Nobody should be keeping score.

Instead of escalating a disagreement, try those five words. You may find they change everything.

Tomorrow I’m going to try to play golf again. It will be the first time in about fifteen years. I gave up the game out of frustration because I was terrible at it and couldn’t seem to get better. I sold or gave away my clubs, my bag, my shoes, and everything else that reminded me of the game. I vowed I would never set foot on a golf course again.

But now I’ve been invited to play by a good friend whom I enjoy spending time with. He’s funny and easy going and he promises me it doesn’t matter a lick how we play, we’re just going to have fun and enjoy the fresh air. I believe him. So, I’m going to play again just to spend a pretty day with him.

Spending precious time with good friends is time well spent. I’ve lost enough people I love to appreciate that. Make the most of your opportunities to fellowship with family and good friends. You only get so many chances.

I’m not even going to keep score tomorrow. Why ruin a great friendship?